i woke up anxious, but not nearly as much so as 1) i would have heretofore or 2) i would have had the insurance lady not warned me in advance or 3) ‘mouse not been around to talk me down.  re: 1) this is a good sign i think, and i only felt like i was spinning out of control into fear when trying to find the phone number for the insurance woman, and therefore actualy having to speak.  i have to go talk with the tutorman this morning in a couple of hours. i’m thinking of medicating myself by sacrificing half of one of my hoarded pills, actually, which i don’t know is a good idea as i would not have done so in the past. but then in the past i would have become hysterical, probably.  hmmmm. i need to be not-hysterical when i talk to tutorman, see if i can get some more money coming in here.  and i don’t need the stress.  this is the time for half a pill.

i also need to get the oil changed and to the post office before i go over there....