i bought these particular guided journal list things, from among hundreds from which to choose (it’s a thing i do at the first of the year and then ignore; i’m always so hopeful for a new beginning) because they are by a woman i thought i remembered from art school.  she was a video art teacher, probably an adjunct, yes, i’m sure an adjunct and, although i never took video art (j had said i don’t do video and so i didn’t either, plus i always hated the look of video anyway) i have a hazy picture of her in my head setting up a monitor in a sort of anteroom off the old library courtyard; that specific, if meaningless, a picture but maybe i had the name wrong.  but it says in the bio that she was at otis art institute, so it must be her.  i extrapolate that she may have been involved in self doc, which I did do, of course, but no more than extrapolation and even that is spinning out into the realm of construction.  at any rate, now she is publishing guided journals, that’s a good day job, i suppose.  i should think of something I could do similar, some publishing venture, i know how it works after all.

but at any rate, connections or not, i don’t seem to be able to make the lists she invokes me to make.  still.  my mind freezes.  i don’t want to go there. even though i want so to be there.  what’s that about, i repeat?